well, it turns out there are multiple "correct" answers - apparently all the throttle bodies were not the same.
some of the tps have a larger diameter piece that fits into the bore in the throttle body - you need to get the right one or it either won't go in or won't stay centered.
fwiw, all of my gen2 atx cars have the smaller hole (I have a new one that I cannot use because it has the larger bore)
if you look very carefully at the factory one, you should see the part number hot stamped on it on the outside, close to the connector- match up that part number with the numbers listed on RockAuto.